Monday 11 March 2013
No Red Pill, No Blue Pill Reponse
I really liked how she grabbed our attention by using these amazing adjectives and phrases. From this article, I comprehend that the author had traveled lots of routes of success in learning that didn't suit her but she did travel one or two routes that suited her. She prefers a route that is sturdy, permanent, and secure. Also, she rapped it up great by again using vivid descriptive words. She concluded her article by going back to the beginning and ending with a sentence that said "Connections do happen". I enjoyed her quote to summarize the beginning by writing Until then, I linger in frost, waiting for the blooms of Spring.
The author did a great job of writing her body paragraphs. I knew what she was going to write about next. For example, for the 8 or 9th paragraph, she started her third paragraph by writing accountability is a strong word so I knew she would describe accountability. She introduced accountability by she writing a discussion given by a webinar named Shareski about the differences about being responsible and accountable. In other words, she had awesome topic sentences.
She did have a great introductory paragraph. Maybe in the future, she could of being more straightforward because I had a hard time finding the hidden meaning of her introduction. For the pictures, she did have amazing images. To be better, she could of posted photos more related to the topic. I thought she was going to inform us about horror films or motion pictures because there was a picture of a terrifying lady that looked she was a demon or ghost.
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Can you expand Grace? (Paragraphs should be moving towards 5-9 sentences each in high school) Why did you get bored? Why do you want shorter paragraphs? I noticed your paragraphs are 3 sentences each. Just a reminder-feedback is about learning how to give positive and constructive criticism.
ReplyDeleteWhere did you see feedback in her paragraphs?
Grace-do you still have your first draft? You should post both so we can see your growth.
ReplyDeleteGrace, you did good on your response because you shared your thought about how the author organized her paragraphs and sentences. You used examples to support your thoughts as well. But I suggest that next time, your response should be more about what the author was saying, what he/she was talking about. Also, you might want to expand on your response and add more descriptions of your opinion. All you have to do is expand more but everything else looks good.
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ReplyDeleteYou did well on your response. I liked how you described in detail how you liked all of her introductions to each paragraph, also how she presented all of the paragraphs. Another good thing would be that you gave her constructive feedback. The one thing that you could have done to make your response better would be to expand your paragraphs. Altogether everything was good.
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